Just For a Drink
She invited him over that Thursday evening for a drink.
It had been 6 months since she’d last seen him and she wanted to see for herself that he was alright; for she still considered him a friend, even if they were no longer buddies.
He knocked on the door a little while later and b4 she opened it, she just looked at him.
He seemed well enuff. Those eyes of his always threw her off just a little bit b/c his personality was so different from what those eyes said. Whoever said the eyes were the windows to the soul probably never got a chance to look into eyes as soulful as his and match it with a personality as rough as his.
She realized she was just staring at him as he knocked again. It was raining out; she opened the door and greeted him with a warm smile. No hugs, no kisses, none of that. He was here for a drink. Nothing more; nothing less.
She offered him a seat while she went to fix the drinks, but he told her sit to down instead. He fixed the drinks himself and then brought them to the couch she was sitting on. He opted for the armchair across the room.
5 or 6 minutes of silence drew out almost gleefully for her. She stared openly and without shame at him. She didn’t smile or anything, but just stared and drank in his appearance.
Tonight, he wore a plain blue tee shirt and some plain blue jeans with worn blue and white Nike running shoes. He looked bigger than the last time she’d seen him. More muscular, thicker in the neck and chest area. His thighs in those jeans screamed at her to touch them...just once. She looked at his face. His chocolate skin was still damp from the rain and his bald head was glistening. He wiped his brow with the tip of his index finger and she had a sudden rush of heat between her thighs at the memory of what those fingers could do to her.
Then, she did smile. A big cheesy grin, as a matter of fact; and she felt guilty for even thinking such thoughts since she had invited him over only for a drink.
He looked at her in wonderment and then asked her how she’d been doing all this time.
Fine was all that he heard and he heard a squeak in that one syllable.
He started talking a little bit. Not about anything much. He told her he’d bought a new house, but this time around the bill paying was a struggle. He told her he’d gotten a new job, but this time around he made more money, but was thinking of going to school to make even more, so he could catch up with his bills and all that. He mentioned his birthday and apologized for missing hers. He talked about the rain and how, like her, he was tired of it all. He talked about how much he didn’t go out on the town anymore. Just too many crazy people out there. He droned on for about 20 minutes, and then he just stopped. “Are you even listening to me?” he asked.
She lowered her eyes, figuring that he must have noticed the dreamy look she can imagine she had in her eyes. She had always loved to hear him talk. Though, when they were buddies, he didn’t do much of that. “Yes, I’m listening to you. Every word.” And she smiled again. She offered to refill his drink, but he declined.
“If you’ve got something else to do,” he said sounding a little uneasy, “I can gone and go.”
“If you’ve got someplace to be, you can gone and go,” she replied. “I’m not rushing you out the door. I did invite you over, yeah.”
It was his turn to smile and she thought she was going to pass right out, sitting there on the couch. That smile was what had attracted her to him in the first place. If they hadn’t have started this relationship thing off in the bed, she was sure that smile would win many an argument with her.
He coaxed a bit more conversation out of her until suddenly, his cell phone rang and he said it was work calling him. He took the call sitting there on the couch and she heard that he was on call at the plant he worked at and someone just got hurt. He said he’d be there as soon as he could get there.
She stood up. “I guess it’s time for you to go. You look good, dude. It was good seeing you again. Don’t be a stranger. You can still stop by for a drink or a meal every now and again.”
He stood as well, clearly looking like he wasn’t ready to go.
He asked for a hug; knowing full well that she didn’t like hugs very much. But, also knowing that, for him, she’d shuck that dislike just this one time.
He wrapped his arms around her and she tried hard not to melt into him. She tried hard to just return the hug and let it go at that, but whatever the cologne was he was wearing was teasing her senses and she inhaled deeply, sighing with content as he hugged her tighter.
She knew she’d be in trouble in a moment if she didn’t get out of his embrace, but for just a moment longer she allowed herself to be immersed in him; in his essence; in his arms—even if not in his life.
She thought about how she could kick herself for jumping straight for the feel good of the moment when they first met those yrs ago. Back then she was all about getting hers and that was enuff for her.
As she was still thinking, he gently pulled away and lightly kissed her on the lips. “Stay outta trouble, girl. And maybe I will back sooner than you think.”
He kissed her again and this time, she kissed him back. It wasn’t a greedy kiss. It was more like a ‘glad to see you’ kiss. And this time, she pulled away. She knew that this situation could quickly go oh so wrong for them if she didn’t put a stop to it quickly.
He looked at her with those long black eyelashes covering his light brown eyes and she didn’t think she’d be able to resist if he asked to stay. He kissed her again; this time more passionately, with more feeling, with more unspoken words than any they had said out loud this evening. She kissed him back. She wrapped her arms around his thick bull neck and held onto him like he was saving her from a sinking ship. She kissed him b/c she missed him. She kissed him b/c she was lonely and she wanted the feel of a man next to her. She kissed him b/c…b/c she was horny, dammit!!
That last thought, and the feeling of air on her back, brought her back to reality and she gently pushed out of his arms.
“Sorry, babe, it’s time for you to go.” She pulled her bottom lip with her teeth as she walked him to the door. She REALLY hated to see him go, but she knew for her own peace of mind, he did have to leave. She gave him one last hug at the door. She kissed his cheek and told him it was really good seeing him again. She wished him luck in life…wondering if this would be the last time she’d ever see him again.
As he got into his car and backed out of the driveway, she wondered if she’d just been dumb to let him go like that; or was that the right decision after all.
She wasn’t sure.
A week later, she got roses delivered to her doorstep with a card that said, “I’ll be back!”
©La-Shanta Holloway 7/2007
Friday, October 16, 2009
Late Night Call
Rated R (but not X-rated) *reader discretion is advised*
Glancing over at the clock, she saw the time was 4:25am. Grabbing the phone, she croaked out, "Who in the hell is it? And what the fucc do you want?"
A deep breath answered and infuriated her.
Just before she got ready to hang up the phone the called said, "Do you still sleep naked?"
Instantly, she recognized his voice on the other end of the phone.
Instantly, she was wet between her legs. She wondered how, after all this time, just the sound of his voice could make her body respond so quickly.
"No," she answered. "I sleep with undies on now."
"Take them off for me please...and do it slow; like I'm watching you."
She didn't even take the time to think about it, she just slid her silk panties off, slowly, under the covers and laid them to the side.
"Good job, baby," he said. And from there the early morning phone call took a turn a freaky turn.
"Do you know how much I miss kissing you in the middle of the night? Do you know that I want to touch your breasts with my tongue...one at a time...and then back again? Imagine how good you'd feel in my arms right now...with your head on my shoulder and my hand caressing your breast while my tongue traces hot trails down your neck."
She could imagine all those things. Her mind saw, and her breast felt, the exact moment when his tongue touched the tip of her nipple. Involuntarily, she drew in a breath, like he was really there.
"Do you feel my tongue on your nipple? Mmm, you still taste the same, baby...mmm. You know I could never stop at just tasting one."
And she felt his hands push both of her breasts together and lick both nipples at the same time. Her own hands began to massage her breasts as she imaginably felt his hot tongue caressing her.
"I'm gonna kiss you where I miss you most..." And she anticipated that imaginary feeling even as she slid her hands between her legs, feeling the warm wetness there.
"I love your lips," he said. "So soft and juicy...do you still put the Carmex on before bed?"
The question caught her off guard, and she had to swallow hard to answer. She knew he was actually waiting for an answer; he never asked a question and didn't expect to be answered. "Um," she cleared her throat, "yeah, I do."
"Good cuz I miss your lips most and I want them to be ready for me."
She had a momentary thought of how dumb that sounded when he was only pushing for phone-boning. But, she went along with him. She didn't even know why. She chalked it up to being awakened at 4 in the morning by his sexy voice. She didn't want to admit that she was horny for him...she told herself that almost anyone would do right now.
"Unlock the door" was the next request and it threw her into a reality she didn't know that she was supposed to be expecting. "And don't put your panties back on, either. And babe, hurry up. It's cold out here."
She rushed, almost non-believing, naked to the door. She peeked out the little window and there he was; standing there holding the phone and smiling at her.
She yanked the door open, but stood stock still just inside. She even almost forgot that the world passing by could she her in all her voluptous glory. Still, she didn't move.
But, she did find her voice. Angrily, confused, astonished, and shivering she asked, "What the hell are you doing out here; standing on my porch stoop, in the freaking cold after all this time?" She wanted to be mad. No, she wanted to be furious with him; but too much time had passed without her seeing him. She realized that her memory of him, after all these months, was still on point with what he really looked like.
He wasn't very tall, only five-ten, 235 with the sweetest, darkest chocolate brown skin. He was, in her very own opinion, a black Adonis; or a black Fabio; whatever, whoever, this man was too damn fine.
He said, after looking her over once, "I needed to see you and be with you and hold you and make love to you, even if just once more."
He took in her build. She was never a very thin woman. She was only three feet shorter then he was at five-seven (don't forget that half a foot, it was a big deal to her) about 185 with twin (seriously you had to make sure the boobs were called "twins") Double-Ds and milky brown skin (like a chocolate candy bar). He had always loved looking at her, with or without clothes. The lady just exuded confidence, poise, style and grace. Even naked she did. He really wished, though, that she'd let him come in and close the door.
She stammered, "But, you said... I mean, I said... I mean, we said we were through. Why are you here? Why are you doing this?" Then, she realized that she was freezing; it was the middle of winter, after all. But, still she didn't offer to let him come in. Her brain wasn't working with her.
"Let me come in, please," he sounded like he was begging, almost.
Reluctantly, she quietly stepped aside and let him come in. Immediately after the door was closed behind him, he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her passionately and hungrily on the lips. He kissed her like a man who hadn't been kissed in a long while. She kissed him back just as hungrily.
Finally, she pushed him back. "You're just here for some ass, huh? After all this time."
She looked him in the eye, silently daring him to lie to her. "Well, then, let's get this over with." She rushed in before he could open his mouth and say something that would end up making her believe him. She took his hand and pulled him down to the couch on top of her.
"I didn't come here just for some ass," he said as he pushed himself off of her. "I came this morning because I just wanted to see you."
"So, why come so early in the morning? Why not during the day, like normal people?"
"Because you're not going to be here and you'd be too alert to talk to me otherwise. This way, I get to see you and talk to you and you're a little too groggy with sleep to be too sharp."
She rushed to her room, thinking that he was right about her being groggy, she was never a morning person and this early in the morning, she was lucky to put two words together and make any sense, let alone a whole slew of them to make sentences.
She had thought that he would follow her swishing ass to her room, but he didn't. She came out of the room with an orange silk robe (and her panties) on. She could still feel the wetness between her legs, though. She wished he didn't have that sort of effect on her, but it had been that way ever since they'd first gotten intimate. She sat down on the couch, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and wondered what the hell he was really doing here.
"May I sit down, please?" he politely asked. She just nodded at the spot next to her on the couch. She secretly wished he wouldn't talk and would just screw her so she could get past the horny part. Maybe he did want to talk, but at four-thirty in the morning, he was going to have a helluva time trying to convince her of it.
He sat and began to apologize for the way things had went down between them last year.
She didn't want to remember it. He had claimed that the other woman was just a freak accident. Something that happened only because he'd let himself get too worked up with his boys. He wished that she could forgive him. He missed her. Blah, blah, blah...
She held up her hand and asked him to stop with the BS, she'd heard it all before, and it still broke them up. "What do you want with me now, tonight?" She had to work on not raising her voice after he'd dredged up all those hateful feelings that she loathed herself for feeling even then, and moreso now. She had believed that she'd finally gotten past it all. Guess not.
"Just to hold you, kiss you, and tell you again how sorry I am for it all."
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly to his chest.
He couldn't resist slipping his hand into her robe and caressing one of her breasts. She didn't pull away, but he knew that his message would be ill-received if he kept it up like that. He removed his hand and used it to brush her hair. It was really all over her head. They sat like that for a while. Despite her strong desire, and effort not to, she began to silently cry.
She cried for all the time gone, when that time should have been theirs forever.
She cried for what could have been but now, could probably never be again. She cried because at one time she had loved this man to distraction; and now, all she felt was lust and that was just cuz she was horny.
Mostly, she cried because out there was a child, who would never know his or her real parents.
The chick that he had "accidently" cheated on her with had gotten pregnant. The chick had insisted on an early DNA test because, as the chick had put it she was "religiously against abortion, but nothing nowhere said that I have to be nobody's damned momma." She had wanted his consent to put the baby up for adoption. She'd had a family already lined up by the time she'd remembered who the negro was that had knocked her up. Foolishly, he had thought that by giving up his rights to a child he had helped conceive, his lady would forgive him and things would go back to normal.
But, that had only made her more disgusted at him. She had really wanted to forgive him his indiscretion, but, at the time, she could not forgive what she'd deemed his cowardness at being a father, a real man. That decision had sealed the deal for her, for their relationship's end.
Now, his warm body was available to her if she just said she forgave him. But, she couldn't do that, not just yet. The pain was all too new again, still too raw. A year had past, but for her things were still too fresh in her mind, in her heart of hearts.
As she lay on his chest, finished with her silent tears, she listened to his heartbeat: It sounds like he's nervous. I wonder if he'd been drinking and is now drunk. She asked him.
His answer, "No. I haven't had a drink since the night you broke up... since the night my life fell apart... since you left me."
After another few minutes, she still on his chest, he yawned and stretched under her. Her hand slipped into his lap. How easy it would be to just take what she wanted right now. She knew it would be well worth the risk of being hurt all over again. Just this once, but her brain kept arguing that it wasn't even a good idea.
He made the decision easy for the both of them and stood to leave. "I'm sorry to have awakened you. And I know it's going to be hard for you to go back to sleep. I am sorry, for then and for now."
She didn't want him to go, but then she knew she needed him to go. She stood with him and her robe fell open across her chest. She didn't reach to straighten it. She was hoping it would get him to stay.
He leaned in and kissed her lips. Then, he kissed her neck, his tongue left a hot trail to her exposed nipple and he took his time drinking from it. Her knees almost buckled and she grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom.
He thought about resisting, but he wanted to feel her skin on his. He wanted to touch her like he used to have the liberty to. He wanted to kiss her in all the places his mind would never forget.
He let her lead him into the bedroom.
She began to unbutton his shirt when they got to the bed. He wanted to feel her fingers on his chest, so he didn't stop her. She slid the shirt off his shoulders and traced her nail over his abs and stomach.
He drew in a breath. It felt so good just to have her simply touch him. No woman could ever make him feel as good as she made him feel. He didn't know if he was strong enough to not have sex--no, to not make love to her--he would never call being with her 'just having sex.'
She reached for his pants to unzip them. He took an involuntary step back, but let her have her way in the end. He anticipated her warm hands on his tool. He was already hard. He couldn't say, truthfully, that he didn't come here to end up in her bed. He had wanted that all along. He would not lie tonight; not if he could help it.
He gasped aloud when her hands found him. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her on the bed. He wanted to taste her and he felt that she would not resist him at this point.
Willingly, she lay all the way in the bed and readied herself for him.
And he stood there, just looking at her. He recognized that hungry look she held in her eyes.
That look that used to tell him he was in for a long night of happy lovemaking with her. Only this time, this time the look was harder than it used to be. He didn't know how to describe it, but it took some of the eagerness away that he had for being with her. Instead of kneeling in front of her, he slid next to her in the bed and wrapped her in his arms.
"I want to make love to you so bad, my erection won't even go all the way down." To prove it to her, he pressed in closer to her, spooning with her, his head laying on her shoulder. "But, I want you to want to make love to me, too. Not just screw me tonight and send me on my way."
She went still, contemplating his words, wondering if he was for real, or if he didn't know that she was ripe for the picking tonight. She wiggled her butt on his shaft. She kissed the fingers that held her hand. She tried, without words, to let him know that tonight he could have her with no strings attached.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked, once she realized that he wasn't goin to give her the release she had hoped for.
"Nothing. I've wanted you in my arms for a year now. Now I have you and I'm savoring the moment."
He woke up at eight the next morning, surprised to see that he was still in his underwear and she was still wrapped in his arms. He kissed her sleeping eyelids and they fluttered open.
She startled awake. "I thought I was dreaming!"
He kissed her again to let her kno that this was no dream and then he got out of the bed and asked to shower. He had to go to work and he was sure she was already late.
After they got themselves together, they parted at the door with what she was sure was a final kiss good-bye.
During the day, she wondered if she was crazy for just sleeping with the man. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but didn't know that she could ever trust or believe in him again.
Later that evening, when she got home from work, he was sitting there on her front porch stoop with some KFC and a 2-liter bottle of coke and a movie.
They woke up the next morning fully clothed and she remember the evening of laughter and short kisses that preceded them falling into the bed too exhausted to do anything but sleep. She wondered how long that would last.
(c) La-Shanta Holloway 9/07
Glancing over at the clock, she saw the time was 4:25am. Grabbing the phone, she croaked out, "Who in the hell is it? And what the fucc do you want?"
A deep breath answered and infuriated her.
Just before she got ready to hang up the phone the called said, "Do you still sleep naked?"
Instantly, she recognized his voice on the other end of the phone.
Instantly, she was wet between her legs. She wondered how, after all this time, just the sound of his voice could make her body respond so quickly.
"No," she answered. "I sleep with undies on now."
"Take them off for me please...and do it slow; like I'm watching you."
She didn't even take the time to think about it, she just slid her silk panties off, slowly, under the covers and laid them to the side.
"Good job, baby," he said. And from there the early morning phone call took a turn a freaky turn.
"Do you know how much I miss kissing you in the middle of the night? Do you know that I want to touch your breasts with my tongue...one at a time...and then back again? Imagine how good you'd feel in my arms right now...with your head on my shoulder and my hand caressing your breast while my tongue traces hot trails down your neck."
She could imagine all those things. Her mind saw, and her breast felt, the exact moment when his tongue touched the tip of her nipple. Involuntarily, she drew in a breath, like he was really there.
"Do you feel my tongue on your nipple? Mmm, you still taste the same, baby...mmm. You know I could never stop at just tasting one."
And she felt his hands push both of her breasts together and lick both nipples at the same time. Her own hands began to massage her breasts as she imaginably felt his hot tongue caressing her.
"I'm gonna kiss you where I miss you most..." And she anticipated that imaginary feeling even as she slid her hands between her legs, feeling the warm wetness there.
"I love your lips," he said. "So soft and juicy...do you still put the Carmex on before bed?"
The question caught her off guard, and she had to swallow hard to answer. She knew he was actually waiting for an answer; he never asked a question and didn't expect to be answered. "Um," she cleared her throat, "yeah, I do."
"Good cuz I miss your lips most and I want them to be ready for me."
She had a momentary thought of how dumb that sounded when he was only pushing for phone-boning. But, she went along with him. She didn't even know why. She chalked it up to being awakened at 4 in the morning by his sexy voice. She didn't want to admit that she was horny for him...she told herself that almost anyone would do right now.
"Unlock the door" was the next request and it threw her into a reality she didn't know that she was supposed to be expecting. "And don't put your panties back on, either. And babe, hurry up. It's cold out here."
She rushed, almost non-believing, naked to the door. She peeked out the little window and there he was; standing there holding the phone and smiling at her.
She yanked the door open, but stood stock still just inside. She even almost forgot that the world passing by could she her in all her voluptous glory. Still, she didn't move.
But, she did find her voice. Angrily, confused, astonished, and shivering she asked, "What the hell are you doing out here; standing on my porch stoop, in the freaking cold after all this time?" She wanted to be mad. No, she wanted to be furious with him; but too much time had passed without her seeing him. She realized that her memory of him, after all these months, was still on point with what he really looked like.
He wasn't very tall, only five-ten, 235 with the sweetest, darkest chocolate brown skin. He was, in her very own opinion, a black Adonis; or a black Fabio; whatever, whoever, this man was too damn fine.
He said, after looking her over once, "I needed to see you and be with you and hold you and make love to you, even if just once more."
He took in her build. She was never a very thin woman. She was only three feet shorter then he was at five-seven (don't forget that half a foot, it was a big deal to her) about 185 with twin (seriously you had to make sure the boobs were called "twins") Double-Ds and milky brown skin (like a chocolate candy bar). He had always loved looking at her, with or without clothes. The lady just exuded confidence, poise, style and grace. Even naked she did. He really wished, though, that she'd let him come in and close the door.
She stammered, "But, you said... I mean, I said... I mean, we said we were through. Why are you here? Why are you doing this?" Then, she realized that she was freezing; it was the middle of winter, after all. But, still she didn't offer to let him come in. Her brain wasn't working with her.
"Let me come in, please," he sounded like he was begging, almost.
Reluctantly, she quietly stepped aside and let him come in. Immediately after the door was closed behind him, he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her passionately and hungrily on the lips. He kissed her like a man who hadn't been kissed in a long while. She kissed him back just as hungrily.
Finally, she pushed him back. "You're just here for some ass, huh? After all this time."
She looked him in the eye, silently daring him to lie to her. "Well, then, let's get this over with." She rushed in before he could open his mouth and say something that would end up making her believe him. She took his hand and pulled him down to the couch on top of her.
"I didn't come here just for some ass," he said as he pushed himself off of her. "I came this morning because I just wanted to see you."
"So, why come so early in the morning? Why not during the day, like normal people?"
"Because you're not going to be here and you'd be too alert to talk to me otherwise. This way, I get to see you and talk to you and you're a little too groggy with sleep to be too sharp."
She rushed to her room, thinking that he was right about her being groggy, she was never a morning person and this early in the morning, she was lucky to put two words together and make any sense, let alone a whole slew of them to make sentences.
She had thought that he would follow her swishing ass to her room, but he didn't. She came out of the room with an orange silk robe (and her panties) on. She could still feel the wetness between her legs, though. She wished he didn't have that sort of effect on her, but it had been that way ever since they'd first gotten intimate. She sat down on the couch, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and wondered what the hell he was really doing here.
"May I sit down, please?" he politely asked. She just nodded at the spot next to her on the couch. She secretly wished he wouldn't talk and would just screw her so she could get past the horny part. Maybe he did want to talk, but at four-thirty in the morning, he was going to have a helluva time trying to convince her of it.
He sat and began to apologize for the way things had went down between them last year.
She didn't want to remember it. He had claimed that the other woman was just a freak accident. Something that happened only because he'd let himself get too worked up with his boys. He wished that she could forgive him. He missed her. Blah, blah, blah...
She held up her hand and asked him to stop with the BS, she'd heard it all before, and it still broke them up. "What do you want with me now, tonight?" She had to work on not raising her voice after he'd dredged up all those hateful feelings that she loathed herself for feeling even then, and moreso now. She had believed that she'd finally gotten past it all. Guess not.
"Just to hold you, kiss you, and tell you again how sorry I am for it all."
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly to his chest.
He couldn't resist slipping his hand into her robe and caressing one of her breasts. She didn't pull away, but he knew that his message would be ill-received if he kept it up like that. He removed his hand and used it to brush her hair. It was really all over her head. They sat like that for a while. Despite her strong desire, and effort not to, she began to silently cry.
She cried for all the time gone, when that time should have been theirs forever.
She cried for what could have been but now, could probably never be again. She cried because at one time she had loved this man to distraction; and now, all she felt was lust and that was just cuz she was horny.
Mostly, she cried because out there was a child, who would never know his or her real parents.
The chick that he had "accidently" cheated on her with had gotten pregnant. The chick had insisted on an early DNA test because, as the chick had put it she was "religiously against abortion, but nothing nowhere said that I have to be nobody's damned momma." She had wanted his consent to put the baby up for adoption. She'd had a family already lined up by the time she'd remembered who the negro was that had knocked her up. Foolishly, he had thought that by giving up his rights to a child he had helped conceive, his lady would forgive him and things would go back to normal.
But, that had only made her more disgusted at him. She had really wanted to forgive him his indiscretion, but, at the time, she could not forgive what she'd deemed his cowardness at being a father, a real man. That decision had sealed the deal for her, for their relationship's end.
Now, his warm body was available to her if she just said she forgave him. But, she couldn't do that, not just yet. The pain was all too new again, still too raw. A year had past, but for her things were still too fresh in her mind, in her heart of hearts.
As she lay on his chest, finished with her silent tears, she listened to his heartbeat: It sounds like he's nervous. I wonder if he'd been drinking and is now drunk. She asked him.
His answer, "No. I haven't had a drink since the night you broke up... since the night my life fell apart... since you left me."
After another few minutes, she still on his chest, he yawned and stretched under her. Her hand slipped into his lap. How easy it would be to just take what she wanted right now. She knew it would be well worth the risk of being hurt all over again. Just this once, but her brain kept arguing that it wasn't even a good idea.
He made the decision easy for the both of them and stood to leave. "I'm sorry to have awakened you. And I know it's going to be hard for you to go back to sleep. I am sorry, for then and for now."
She didn't want him to go, but then she knew she needed him to go. She stood with him and her robe fell open across her chest. She didn't reach to straighten it. She was hoping it would get him to stay.
He leaned in and kissed her lips. Then, he kissed her neck, his tongue left a hot trail to her exposed nipple and he took his time drinking from it. Her knees almost buckled and she grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom.
He thought about resisting, but he wanted to feel her skin on his. He wanted to touch her like he used to have the liberty to. He wanted to kiss her in all the places his mind would never forget.
He let her lead him into the bedroom.
She began to unbutton his shirt when they got to the bed. He wanted to feel her fingers on his chest, so he didn't stop her. She slid the shirt off his shoulders and traced her nail over his abs and stomach.
He drew in a breath. It felt so good just to have her simply touch him. No woman could ever make him feel as good as she made him feel. He didn't know if he was strong enough to not have sex--no, to not make love to her--he would never call being with her 'just having sex.'
She reached for his pants to unzip them. He took an involuntary step back, but let her have her way in the end. He anticipated her warm hands on his tool. He was already hard. He couldn't say, truthfully, that he didn't come here to end up in her bed. He had wanted that all along. He would not lie tonight; not if he could help it.
He gasped aloud when her hands found him. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her on the bed. He wanted to taste her and he felt that she would not resist him at this point.
Willingly, she lay all the way in the bed and readied herself for him.
And he stood there, just looking at her. He recognized that hungry look she held in her eyes.
That look that used to tell him he was in for a long night of happy lovemaking with her. Only this time, this time the look was harder than it used to be. He didn't know how to describe it, but it took some of the eagerness away that he had for being with her. Instead of kneeling in front of her, he slid next to her in the bed and wrapped her in his arms.
"I want to make love to you so bad, my erection won't even go all the way down." To prove it to her, he pressed in closer to her, spooning with her, his head laying on her shoulder. "But, I want you to want to make love to me, too. Not just screw me tonight and send me on my way."
She went still, contemplating his words, wondering if he was for real, or if he didn't know that she was ripe for the picking tonight. She wiggled her butt on his shaft. She kissed the fingers that held her hand. She tried, without words, to let him know that tonight he could have her with no strings attached.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked, once she realized that he wasn't goin to give her the release she had hoped for.
"Nothing. I've wanted you in my arms for a year now. Now I have you and I'm savoring the moment."
He woke up at eight the next morning, surprised to see that he was still in his underwear and she was still wrapped in his arms. He kissed her sleeping eyelids and they fluttered open.
She startled awake. "I thought I was dreaming!"
He kissed her again to let her kno that this was no dream and then he got out of the bed and asked to shower. He had to go to work and he was sure she was already late.
After they got themselves together, they parted at the door with what she was sure was a final kiss good-bye.
During the day, she wondered if she was crazy for just sleeping with the man. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but didn't know that she could ever trust or believe in him again.
Later that evening, when she got home from work, he was sitting there on her front porch stoop with some KFC and a 2-liter bottle of coke and a movie.
They woke up the next morning fully clothed and she remember the evening of laughter and short kisses that preceded them falling into the bed too exhausted to do anything but sleep. She wondered how long that would last.
(c) La-Shanta Holloway 9/07
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